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Drake Bell is sharing his thoughts about starring in the controversial documentary Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV and how the show handled his detailing of the horrific abuse he suffered as a child star.
Bell appeared on the Wednesday (May 22) episode of the Sauce On The Side With Gandhi podcast, speaking to co-host of the Elvis Duran and the Morning Show co-host Gandhi in a wide-ranging interview, from discussions about how the story of Netflix's Baby Reindeer resonated with him to not getting residuals from his time starring on Drake & Josh.
During the conversation, Bell also shared his thoughts on the "final product" on Quiet on Set and how he feels the show handled his story of the sexual abuse he suffered as a teenager at the hands of Nickelodeon dialogue coach Brian Peck, especially after Marc Summers, who briefly appeared in the documentary, recently spoke about feeling "ambushed" by producers.
"I'm content with the way that my story was able to be revealed to the world. As far as the rest of the documentary goes..." he said, trailing off before Gandhi referenced how the documentary caused mixed emotions for its handling of other sensitive stories. Elsewhere in the interview, Bell teased that he's writing a memoir to share his story in his own words.
Despite the suffering he experienced when he was younger and with Hollywood seemingly failing him, Bell said he can't leave the world behind because he still loves it.
"I can't. It's everything inside of me," he said. "Ever since I was a little boy, all I wanted to do was entertain, when I was 5 years old, 6 years old, even though that's a very young age. I didn't know what it was, I just knew that I wanted to make people laugh, and that is my essence. That's my soul, that's my oxygen."
The Drake & Josh star grew more passionate as he spoke about not letting his experience keep him from what he's always wanted to do. "Also, I mean, f--- them. What, am I gonna quit? I'm gonna quit doing what I love and what, you know, I believe I was born to do, and so that these monsters can win?"
He added, "When I was on that stage and you hear the hammers hitting, building the sets, you smell the wood being cut. You're walking over the cables, you're seeing the cameras, the lights — that's home. That's where I felt safe. That's where I felt happy. That's where I felt creative, that's where I felt alive. I'll be damned if I'm gonna allow anybody to take that away from me."
Bell said performing provides him an escape from the emotional turmoil and increased attention he has received recently, especially since he shared his story of the abuse he suffered when he was younger, something that is also reflected on his new album Non-Stop Flight.
"It's a metaphorical escape," he said. "That's sort of the narrative of the record, too. You want to just escape and get away but there's a lot of work on the inside that you have to do first before you can relax when you get to your destination."
Sauce On The Side has new episodes every week, releasing each Wednesday, where Gandhi and various guests get real about topics ranging from honest thoughts about life and love to the challenges of working in entertainment. Previous guests include Playboy models, comedians, safari guides, someone working to resurrect wooly mammoths, and many more. Check out more episodes of the Sauce On The Side podcast at iHeart.com.